Got My Own Thing Now

Well! Here's a funny little post to start my day off, right.

Incidentally, I have wisely chosen to listen to the Squirrel Nut Zippers for this session; the album is Hot! and you can buy it here.

Interestingly, the first track gets my frame of mind; the next, my Topic.

Put A Lid On It.
One of the most fascinating things I have realized in the last while is that there can be all kinds of lines in the sand, in our lifetimes. Sometimes, we know those lines to be just markers- a hump in the hill, easily spotted from a distance, with a flag nearby to attract your attention. Sometimes, it takes a great deal of effort to reach the hump, and keep going. And then, you look up, and there's another damn marker.

Sometimes, you get a big marker when you don't expect one... and it takes more of you, the longer you delay just getting over the hump. You can't stand on the hill forever, and forget that you had a hump to get over. Its an deceptively easy choice, friends, to want to just stop, and wait, and forget about the problem because it'll take care of itself.

The choice I made once was alcohol; easily made, not without its dangers, but keeping a low profile among social drinkers isn't too difficult, if you don't attract attention. You see the others who suffer, sometimes; and yet, you have a mirror behind the bar for a reason, I guess. I tried it that way; I've since tried it another, and I got rid of the crutch at my first opportunity, and here's where I talk about it.

In the depths of my cups, I chanced to meet a very old, and dear, friend of mine, by the name of Mark. I'd been on George Street for a while, that night; I'd been evicted from one bar for stealing tips from the overworked barmaids (which, I can tell you, is possibly my moment of greatest shame, if the truth be told) and then, here's this lovely old friend of mine.

One bar, a couple rounds, and the next thing I know, I'm ready for a fight. For the second time in my life, I'm actually looking for a fight, without having considered "Am I willing to commit to the path I chose?" The thing that got me here was my loud mouth, and damned stubborn ignorance. The drug that brought me there was alcohol. Here's one of my oldest, best friends willing to stand me down, for my own good, and I'll be a damned drunk, instead. Damn.

When I was a young man, I remember reading things like Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken with a certain wonder at his ability to inspire me to take one road, over another. This is an essential choice to the character of my being, and I am a curious man, who is most often surprised at what he finds. I also like to laugh.

I can tell you, with 100% certainty, that marijuana is a more effective medication for certain types of depression, and especially for people who have anxieties, and related disorders. The release you get from what is intolerable, day to day bullshit, is astounding if you're also a naturally motivated type of person. That this is a drug that is widely and commonly found WORLDWIDE doesn't astonish me, not in the slightest. That it is far more effective than anything that the pharmaceutical companies might offer (side effects? You're hungry... or maybe horny. A finely balanced energy equation if you combine the two) and, as is so often the case, is so freely available that... my god, is it possible that it couldn't possibly be controlled by the full force of the law (as in tobacco or alcohol) unless that same government taxed it all to HELL and gone to make it "worth their while", to pay for the cost of enforcement?

This is the other kind of line in the sand- THIS is the one where your freedom is at stake, if there is something that you want (and you're better for having) that makes your day to day bullshit OK on the OTHER side of that line, you must cross it, and take the risks that come with going over the line. At least, I Must. I cannot live with myself, as I am, unless I do. I refuse to acknowledge the cosmic joke of my own life without a direct pat on the back by the Joker; this is intolerable to me. With pot, I'm able to cross that line. Without pot, I can still cross the line, now, anyhow. I see the road and I know what it's worth to me.

But if I compare pot to alcohol, based on my own wide experience with both, I'd have to say the lesser of two evils is definitely the pot. If I compared pot to other substances (most of which, I haven't tried), I'd be doing so based on my experiences with other people, with lives of their own, and their own reasons for doing it to themselves. I would not tolerate some of the crutches I have seen; the mirror is a powerful tool, friends.

I think being motivated is something you can learn, to some degree, as well. I can show you that, if you like. I'd also like to mention here, in this place for loose thoughts for specific folks, that I would highly recommend treating pot (the image you have for it, in your head, literally, hold that a sec) as you would a fine blend of tobacco, perhaps one that you'd heard about but never SMOKED. Several of the varieties beyond my current capacity (notably, those from Middle Earth, included) to procure only lead me to look for better tobaccos in general. There are, likewise, varieties of pot that have different effects, so if you don't like being logy... find some different smoke. It's easier for some people that others, that I can tell you.

That I once chose the road WELL traveled is no longer my shame; I had the sense to stop and turn around, no matter how far down the road I was. That there is a shortcut with risks of its own is a tolerable enough fate for me; for (Ezekiel 25:17) the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyrannies of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. (I been sayin' that shit for years, too!)

What I truly believe now, friends, is that the fineness of the line in the sand doesn't mean that it isn't there. Its precisely because I can point to the line, and it can be seen, that separates it from a miracle and a matter of trust. I believe that we routinely ignore the beauty of our situation, and I can show you that line too, if you like.

I might also add, Put A Lid On It is a decent campaign slogan.

Look at the time!! :P